December 16, 2009

ltml - fml edition

Dear Neighbor,
If you're going to play your guitar all shittily could you please cut yourself off at 10 pm like a polite person. I've never blasted you with my shit after 9:30...stupid snatch - if you don't knock it off I might cut you.
Sincerely, Disgruntled neighbor

Dear Neighbor's kid,
What are you deaf?? I can't believe my noise hasn't woken you up! Help a sista out over here and wake up screaming. It's the least you could do when you have count cuntula as a mom...fuck!
Always, Angry Bitch Next Door

Dear Ana and Andy,
I do not now nor have I ever cared about Andy's kids. As a matter of fact I couldn't care less what happens. I have helped and listened trying to be a good person. Why in the fuck would I want to listen to the two of you bitch about the same shit I hear at work EVERY SINGLE DAY!?!? Keep your own fucking drama dude...I'm officially out! May your lawyer keep his sanity the poor lad...I think next time I'll send you to someone I don't like.
Not cool, Me

Dear Mr K. Sweeney (the good one),
I'm apologizing now for my past and future mistakes. I know that I have sent you some gems. My bad...
Really do love ya, The girl who makes the shitty coffee and sends you nutcases

Dear Pister,
Add a fucking followers button and help people out...maybe you'd get more. I'm trying here. PS - thanks for you know that thing that you did that we can't talk about on here...(twss?)
Love, the good Pister

Dear followers,
Get your mind outta the gutter...
Thanks again for the love, J

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