February 2, 2009

February 2, 1952


I wasn't even born yet. I wasn't even thought of yet. Not even a twinkle in my parent's eyes at that point. I don't know what the weather was like. I don't know what Roundup, Billings, Shepherd, or Lockwood, Montana looked like on that day. Hot, cold, snowy...I have no idea. I can't remember that part of the story. All I know about that day is that it was the day one of the most significant people to every be in my life was born that day. She was named after her parents child that was born before her and died shortly after birth. Her name was Kathryn Ann Rae, she would be 57 today and I wish that I had written down every story, every detail, everything that she had ever told me. She was my "Mama Kate" and she is one of the biggest reasons that I'm glad my mom is gay. I would not be a fraction of the person I am today without her. In her life she taught me a lot. She taught me about boys and periods, makeup and backstabbers, how to fight fair (and sometimes unfair). She helped teach me how to stand up for myself, to tell the truth, to love people even if they aren't blood relatives, to be kind and patient, and mostly how to be myself. She taught me about Reiki, massage therapy, Mandala's, and all things "airy fairy". She taught to me to try and be the best version of me I can be on any given day and that even when I'm not the greatest person - she will still love me and so will mom even when she looks like she wants to kill me (I already knew all of this, but she definitely cemented it). She introduced me to my friend forever, Alissa and her parents. She introduced me to temporary friends, Martha, Liz, Sue, and Sheila. She took me to Chico for Reiki gatherings and Easter with mom and Casey, to Yellowstone Park just because we wanted to take a "mother/daughter" trip, she took to me Yellowstone Park because Liz's niece was here and again with mom, we went to Arizona every single year. She took me with her to Roundup at least once a month to see her family. When her dad died - we were around. When her mom died I skipped a week of school to be there. When her sister and my grandfather died in the same month she made sure that I was ok and asked me to come to her sister's funeral. There aren't many memories from the time I was 11 until I was 16 where she was around somewhere. She moved out when I was 16, moved to the Virgin Islands somewhere around 17. We talked every week and most of the time we talked a few times a week. We e-mailed on the days we didn't talk. We had such plans and she would always be sure to tell me that I would only get better as I got older. She would tell me stories of her and her friends discussing what my life would be like and how I would accomplish such great things. So many stories and so many more memories that can't even be described. She died in May of 2004. I don't deal with the grief well and it's still there everyday, but today sucks worst of all because she would be 57 and 57 isn't very old at all. I miss her every single day. I probably always will. Happy Birthday Mama Kate. I miss you and love you...