wow...okay...just wow...and my appologies in advance for the length...

you ever know someone that has had to fight for their rights? I have. I've known a lot of people. As a matter of fact I have a few very close friends that fight for their rights EVERY.SINGLE.DAY...It's call the "gay community". Those of you that have read my other stuff or know me personally know that a) my mother is a lesbian b) I am an activist for equal rights...for not only "the gays" (thanks Kathy Griffin for making me think that's funny) but for everyone c) that I can be very passionate about doing what right and d) that I have a very strong sense of what mom calls "social justice". There are a lot of things in my life that I am proud of, but my ability to seek the truth, try to turn people toward what I feel in my heart and soul is right, and doing my job as a human being to understand that our differences make us special are my biggest accomplishments.

That being said. I am straight...mostly...we think :) haha - my peeps will get that (insert a joke about one of my many "girlfriends" here). I do, however, try to keep up to date on the happenings here in the local "gay community" as well as globally. I'm informed ya'll. So I have a friend, who is a teacher (will call her A), somewhere in the state of MT. Her "partner" (gonna call her B) and I are tight dude...she's like the freakin' shit. I'd also like to add that this couple is the first "gay couple" to adopt JOINTLY in the state. That's right kiddies. These 2 moms are both on the birth certificate. Wrap your mind around it....because we are a RED state... Anyway, I digress, so this friend, B informed me today that A, her teacher "partner" (sorry for no names, but it's not my place) was denied bereavement leave for her (B) father's funeral. This woman is not just B's "partner" but her sons parent. Legally this is A's son's grandfather, regardless of their sexual orientation. Now another party involved is going to be called C. C is also a lesbonin (haha - "Friends" reference...remember that episode? thanks Pister for that reminder). As a matter of fact, C has had to fight for her own rights (again, can't really get into it). C had decided that because of a certain (bullshit excuse) extenuating circumstance she will not help A & B fight for A's rights as a parent and sent her to deal with her bereavement leave with the "higher ups". EVEN after A & B helped her fight for hers....hmmmmm...so it's okay when others are helping you, but when it's time to fight for a global cause now that you're fate has been decided to puss out? Nope...not cool man...

That being said...I think I'd like to express my opinion on C's stance...

You cannot have your cake and eat it too. If you are NOT willing to stand up for your own rights as a gay person don't expect anyone else to either. It has never been easy standing up for what one believes. HOWEVER, what's right is not always easy and what's easy is not always right. These people stood up for you because it was the right thing to do. You now have a choice...do what is right or stick your head in the sand because you are afraid of the repercussions. If you decide not to do what is right above what is safest for yourself don't expect people to stick around. People want friends who are willing to put themselves out there if it's the right thing to do. It is all out chicken shit for you to take the help when it is offered and yet when the tables are turned to run like a scared little puppy with your tail between your legs. I understand that in your job position it is hard to do the right thing. I understand that there could be very big consequences. I understand that it could be very hard to deal with. I would like to remind you though...When you needed the support the most for circumstances that were much harder to deal with...these people were there. They took you in as family. They gave you not only a place to stay, but more importantly their hearts. They expected nothing in return (to a point because frankly when you have friends you do expect some relationship reciprocation...if you say you don't it's a fucking lie). They did expect for you to treat them with dignity and respect and to maybe be willing to help them fight for not only their rights, but YOURS. Put yourself in their shoes. If your father died and your "partner" and parent of your child was told that she could not have bereavement time would you be okay with that or would if piss you off? I know you. I know it would piss you off. What I'm really saying here is grow a fucking set and fight for what's right! Don't piss all over your friends because you're current partner is having issues with an ex...DUDE who the fuck is going to be there if and when shit falls apart during this relationship? Certainly not the person that's walking away.

Moral of the story kids: fight for what you believe in or stfu...you can't have it both ways...if you do have it both ways then you are just a FLAKE. Nobody wants to hang with a flake because you are like your friends or you become like them...If the world is going to change the way you want it to then you have to be willing to make sure it does so...

And then becomes the question...

Can you be friends with people who are of a different thinking? different social group? socioeconomic status? religion? What about education level?

Also, do people tend to follow in their parents footsteps as far as their feelings about higher education? How much does the way you are raised affect the way you feel about higher education or moreover upper level education (Law School, Graduate School, etc.)?

Is the problem here an actual difference or a perceived difference that is more so a difference of thinking pattern?

Okay - so here's the deal...I'm getting a headache from thinking about all of this and would like some opinions if anyone is reading this shiz...

I have a friend - whom I must say I am so very happy doesn't have the internets so she will not be reading this. Said friend is the mother of 3, works at a gas station (nothing wrong with that I used to work there myself frankly, however, definitely a down grade from her old job at Walmart as a dept. manager), and has only a high school education (again not knocking it - my brother does well with just his GED so it's all good - no judgment). She lives with her construction worker boyfriend, swears she going to go to nursing school (we'll see), and acts like they are broke because they can't get a break. I was talking to her the other day and it seemed to me like she was trying to work the system (ya know the foodstamps and shiz). Now what really pissed me off about it was that she seems to think it's okay to do so. I got on her ass about it, but realized that what I say doesn't matter because she's going to say I just don't get how hard it is, blah, blah, blah. I will say I have to hand it to her that I have no idea what it's like to be broke. I have NEVER been truly broke in my life. My mother is an attorney, my father a fireman. I was raised upper-middle class by a battalion chief (my dad), a divorce lawyer (mom), and a therapist (mom's girlfriend Kate...whom I've mentioned). I work for my mom and make good money doing so...well at least good enough. There was a 3 month period where I was working at the gas station and pretty much homeless (I crashed with a co-worker...which is another story), however, I knew that no matter what I would be okay. I made $6.50 an hour, had only my HS education, and really no place to live, but they let me stay rent-free, which is probably one of the reasons I don't hate these people even though everyone says I have every right to do so. I don't have kids, I own my condo, I have a college education, I moved back in with my mom after those 3 months, and I always knew that if worse came to worst I could probably move in with Kate. Why not live with dad you say? Well that's also another story. Anyway, I digress. I don't know what it's like to be divorced with 3 kids, have a shitty job, and an asshole boyfriend. I made different choices for my life than she did. So this friend is talking about working the system and all I can do is get annoyed, tell her is bullshit and if she gets caught she's in deep shit, because the government doesn't look kindly on people fucking them over. Which all got me thinking...what does this mean for our friendship when I get done with grad school? Will we even be able to be friends when I know that I'm paying my taxes so that she can fuck someone else out of that much needed money? The system is there for a reason AND being the Democrat (staunch Democrat) that I am I truly believe that it's a good thing. HOWEVER, the system should be used by those who need it. I know people who are a lot worse off than her who wouldn't dream of touching those resources.

This all got me thinking about the above questions...so anyone?? anyone?? I realize I will probably not get any kind of response, but I really needed to put it out there...thanks all...

Politeness....

So the other day my mom and I ran into each other at the grocery store. We were quite surprised to see that after spending a day together at work we would now be shopping together (cuz ya know great minds think a like). So we do our shopping and go to check out. My mom is polite, she's always very polite even when some rudeness might be in order, but she doesn't make idle chit-chat with people. I on the other hand am a talker. Those who know me know that above all I love to talk and to hear stories. So she checks out first and there are all the customary pleases and thank you's. Then I check out. I do all the pleases and thank yous and what not along with my idle chatter with the lady (I shop at the same spot pretty often so although she probably doesn't remember me - I do remember her). At the end of my time I grab my grocery bags and toss a have a good night or nice night or good one or something of that nature. This prompts my mother to say "You're so nice."....um...okay?....So it's been bugging me...are most people not that nice? And then it dawned on me. People really are RUDE. I worked at a gas station for 4 1/2 years and I should know that I am probably going out of my way to be nice. I try to be patient even when people are pissy. I always tip something even if people are shitty. I like to tell people to have a nice day. It's partially about my upbringing (my parents are both nice people, my mom is definitely more quiet than my dad and I but they are equally kind) and it's partially about my past experience working with the general public. I guess that I can fully remember having shitty days at work and it was MY regulars (yep still refer to them that way - and I actually miss them on a personal level) that helped snap me out of it. They would come in with some crazy story about kids, or dogs, or exes and it would make me smile. Sometimes they would come in and tell me about something shitty that happened to them that day and I would understand that at least my day wasn't THAT shitty. It's nice to know that people can still care about strangers. I certainly do...even when I wish I didn't...which at my job is often...anyway, if anyone ever reads and leaves comments (besides the lovely LiLu - who is a rockstar at commenting - thanks for that btw)...do you have anything to share or add about the politeness or lack thereof in society?? Do you think that it's weird that I do this? (the way my mom said "you're so nice" made me feel like I wasn't normal)