April 21, 2010

And then becomes the question...

Can you be friends with people who are of a different thinking? different social group? socioeconomic status? religion? What about education level?

Also, do people tend to follow in their parents footsteps as far as their feelings about higher education? How much does the way you are raised affect the way you feel about higher education or moreover upper level education (Law School, Graduate School, etc.)?

Is the problem here an actual difference or a perceived difference that is more so a difference of thinking pattern?

Okay - so here's the deal...I'm getting a headache from thinking about all of this and would like some opinions if anyone is reading this shiz...

I have a friend - whom I must say I am so very happy doesn't have the internets so she will not be reading this. Said friend is the mother of 3, works at a gas station (nothing wrong with that I used to work there myself frankly, however, definitely a down grade from her old job at Walmart as a dept. manager), and has only a high school education (again not knocking it - my brother does well with just his GED so it's all good - no judgment). She lives with her construction worker boyfriend, swears she going to go to nursing school (we'll see), and acts like they are broke because they can't get a break. I was talking to her the other day and it seemed to me like she was trying to work the system (ya know the foodstamps and shiz). Now what really pissed me off about it was that she seems to think it's okay to do so. I got on her ass about it, but realized that what I say doesn't matter because she's going to say I just don't get how hard it is, blah, blah, blah. I will say I have to hand it to her that I have no idea what it's like to be broke. I have NEVER been truly broke in my life. My mother is an attorney, my father a fireman. I was raised upper-middle class by a battalion chief (my dad), a divorce lawyer (mom), and a therapist (mom's girlfriend Kate...whom I've mentioned). I work for my mom and make good money doing so...well at least good enough. There was a 3 month period where I was working at the gas station and pretty much homeless (I crashed with a co-worker...which is another story), however, I knew that no matter what I would be okay. I made $6.50 an hour, had only my HS education, and really no place to live, but they let me stay rent-free, which is probably one of the reasons I don't hate these people even though everyone says I have every right to do so. I don't have kids, I own my condo, I have a college education, I moved back in with my mom after those 3 months, and I always knew that if worse came to worst I could probably move in with Kate. Why not live with dad you say? Well that's also another story. Anyway, I digress. I don't know what it's like to be divorced with 3 kids, have a shitty job, and an asshole boyfriend. I made different choices for my life than she did. So this friend is talking about working the system and all I can do is get annoyed, tell her is bullshit and if she gets caught she's in deep shit, because the government doesn't look kindly on people fucking them over. Which all got me thinking...what does this mean for our friendship when I get done with grad school? Will we even be able to be friends when I know that I'm paying my taxes so that she can fuck someone else out of that much needed money? The system is there for a reason AND being the Democrat (staunch Democrat) that I am I truly believe that it's a good thing. HOWEVER, the system should be used by those who need it. I know people who are a lot worse off than her who wouldn't dream of touching those resources.

This all got me thinking about the above questions...so anyone?? anyone?? I realize I will probably not get any kind of response, but I really needed to put it out there...thanks all...

1 comment:

LiLu said...

That's a hard situation, definitely. I suppose I would have to say that if she doesn't work towards the things she says she is- nursing school, etc- eventually I would have to cut someone like that out of my life. Not based on principles or politics, but just because you can only watch someone struggle for so long when they won't help themselves, you know?