August 20, 2009

conflict of interest anyone?


Okay so I marvel at the stupidity of the average person...especially when they have absolutely no clue about anything professional. For those of you who don't know(God I hope you do)...when you work for a professional there is a thing called "conflict of interest" - this can happen in several different ways...at my office it is more often than not because we have represented someone in the past and then that person's ex wants to take them back to court and thinks we should be willing to do it or it's someone that we know way too much about the other party (not always a conflict, but certainly can be). So...that makes sense does it not? And for those of you who don't understand "conflict of interest" get on that shit...it's useful to understand.

Also, there is a thing call attorney/client privilege - it's like dr/patient confidentiality...pretty much exactly like it actually. It means that we can say shit about anyone that is or was a client. Now, that being said the stupidity is rampant and since you don't know our client and whatnot I can totally tell you about things in a very round about you don't know who it is and will NEVER figure it out way...like doctors say "I once had a patient who..." - not very professional, but they can get away with it...usuallly. Whenever we have a conflict (or just someone I don't like) I will send them to various other attorney's...Mostly a man we'll call K.S....this was one that got sent his way...I'm sure he'd thank me if he knew I sent him the crazies!

Anyway that being said here's my conversation with some dumbass that called:

Dumbass: My name is....and I'm calling for my son.
(okay - now this dude sounds ancient - so I'm all "fuck another one of these 'I can't shit without someone there to wipe my ass' people" - not a good way to start off with me...I am your gateway to the attorney in this office)
Me: okay and what can we do for you?
Dumbass: Well he needs to know if you STILL represent .....
Me: I can't tell you that
Dumbass: Oh really, Why?
Me: because whether we do or don't represent .... you know that we may have at one point
Dumbass: Ok. Well he has a couple of kids with....and he needs a lawyer.
Me: To help with the kids he has with her?
Dumbass: Yeah he needs someone to protect him.
Me: Um...that's a conflict of interest.
Dumbass: Oh really WHY?
Me (in my head): (are you fucking kidding me? Srsly you can't figure that one out)
Me (to dumbass): because if we ever represented her there is client privilge.
Dumbass: (long pause) Oh really? well, um....
Me: Okay I'm going to give you K.S. (another attorney)'s number...he's great you should call

And that my friends is how KS gets stuck with our shit storm...I send all the crazy, stupid, or just plain weird people to him...you ARE welcome Mr. S! All my love, J!

1 comment:

LiLu said...

When I worked at a real estate company, I used to have to cover the front sometimes... you get ALLLLLLLL the morons. "Um, I'm driving by a sign on a property and it said this was the number to call." "Okay, what's the address of the property?" "I don't know."

..................

Then why tf are you calling me?!

Ugh. People.