just sayin....
okay so I actually got to have an exciting weekend...
My cousin, E, is in the Navy. He is leaving for Boloxi, Mississippi (probably spelled that wrong but who cares) and then Afghanistan. SOOOOOOOO...he threw himself a going away party at a local dive bar. It's a real shit hole, but also ended up being awesome in a way (keep in mind later that it's right next door to a town pump here). So we are at this "party", which btw is just a bunch of random family and friends, and not in a reserved room (hello it's a dive bar). Anyway, Friday at midnight also happened to be the release of New Moon...yeah I'm a nerd. So the family is all getting shitty drunk (except me cuz well after puking last year for 3 days I don't drink). My cousin L. is wasted. Lisa is 45 and doesn't really drink much herself. So Eric, his mom (L.), his dad (A.), his grandfather on mom's side (L. who is my Aunt's ex hubby), and his friends are all wastered. Like falling down drunk. His sister (also A, but we'll call her lil A. for this) is preggo so she's not drinking...essentially she and I and our under drinking age but of gambling age cousin (K.) are the only sober ones after about 11. Anywho, I'm ready to leave, but I'm counting drunks/sober person car holding capabilities and realize there is no way Lil A is getting all these idiots home by herself. I have to stay and help because that's how I roll. AND BOY AM I GLAD I DID! Midnight rolls around and Lil A and I decide we are bored and wtf let's go get "New Moon". I had told the bff, Pister, that I would pick her up a copy anyway. She was extremely excited (like crazy excited) to have a copy. Anyway, Lil A and I leave and that's when the shit hits the fan. I'm going to preface this by saying we were only gone for like 30 minutes tops. So we leave and my cousin E. starts to freak out again about going to a place where shooting him is the aim of some people. Understandable no? So he's upset and his mom (L.) and Dad (A.) take him outside to talk. So he's upset and his dad is giving him a hug and this big (and I mean big - like 6'4") Indian, excuse me, Native American, dude starts to mouth off. He says "Why don't you get a room?" Of course they all do the wtf...and L. says "what did you just say?" Drunk Indian dude, like an idiot, repeats himself....so...They ALL 3 take off after him. They are all 4 drunk as fuck at this point. E. is so drunk he trips over his own feet and falls. A. tries to tackle dude, but falls instead....Not L though - she chases this guy into Town Pump and wails on his ass. L. is 45 and only about 5'4" tall...and she's wailing on this son of a bitch...So Dude is all like "get her off me, call the cops, I'm pressing charges"...and L's response "call the fucking cops, I work for the fucking cops!" Yeah...she's worked dispatch for a while, but probably not her best response. Anywho, cops are called and L barely dodges going to jail...luckily. L at one point afterward tells me she kinda feels bad...my response "fuck that, you just made my year sweetheart, can't feel bad about that!" Booyah - and that is the story of how my cousin wailed on some dude half her age and twice her size!
Friends on a side-note...I have NEVER before gone out with my family....and my friends aren't the "bar fight" type. Just gotta say that it was epic. Thanks for reading...
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